First Draft...

Well! Anil said if I wrote about him, he will have to read the first draft; so here it is...


We were about 20 odd, who had joined Capgemini. A bunch of 20 over enthusiactic, aspiring Management Assurance Consultants in Bangalore. Out if these 20, about 15 were placed in a company guest house till the time we found a roof of our own. I still remember very vividly that evening when, one of us had got a map to pin down where we were located and then where the office was and which were the suitable areas to live. Our dinner time, when 14 men would walk on the road guarding the only girl in that lot. Honestly, each one of these 14 deserves one story of his own.


The biggest shock of my life came when they all turned out to be vegetarians. Now, to make you understand how grave the situation was, my mom used to call every evening before we went for dinner, and baby-talk me into appreciating the flora instead of fauna. And I used to manage to survive that meal.

Anil was one guy who had appreciable table manners, and I couldn't help noticing that. I guess its just a fallout of being an army officer's daughter. When the Delhiites, and Puneites were busy being boisterous, Anil was a soft spoken, everyone's guy.

Meanwhile my vegetarian ordeal was at its peak when the weekend came. I had not smelled meat for a week, which meant I would have lost interest in my food if I missed this weekend. My mom, sent out an SOS to my brother, who came down and took me to this amazing place and I simply cut-loose. In the evening I came back and my face was evidently fresh and lively. The dinner wasn't so depressing after that. On the table, everyone asked about my day. I mentioned chirpily, "I went out with my brother, had some amazing chicken curry at this dhaba..." Suddenly, I hear Anil shrieking as if he saw a ghost... "what the hell, you are a non-vegetarian??" I was like Is he Maneka Gandhi's supporter or something? But if he comes up with some 'vegetarian bano, achha hai!' shit... I'll kill him. "Yes I am! Any problem?"

"What crap! I was thinking everyone is a veggie here and I didnt have company to order meat..." My expression changed from 'attacking' to 'melting'. It was like God saw my plight and sent a saviour; maybe he just turned into a non-veggie 5 mins ago to save me from this 'all grass & leaves' world. After that we struck a chord instantly :) If he preferred mutton over chicken, so did I. If I didn't like omlettes, even he didn't. And finally that One thing that sealed our friendship was KFC. Our office canteen food wasn't something you would die for, maybe you could die if you had it continuosly for more than a couple of days. So me and Anil, would stash our sodexos in our pockets and head towards KFC.

He had travelling job, so he would go away for weeks together and I would wait ardently for him. If he was online one thing we never missed discussing was our 'menu'. Infact, once he just pinged, "so whats special today?"; I replied, "Chicken Biryani !!" "No you duffer, I was talking about the day, its friday the 13th". That was our obsession with our grub! So much that we came to a conclusion that our tummys were siblings. And like all siblings, there was a bit of sibling rivalry too. I hated when he visited Europe and had ham and bacon and what not EVERYDAY, and to top it, he would religiously tell me too, ofcourse to make me feel jealous.

One day, he came and said, "Hey Deeps! I am shifting base to Chennai." It came out quite casually and even I didn't react too much. And we still keep going to KFC like two best friends from school, hopping down to the candy shop. But one fine day he did go away. And like a fool, my tummy realized that the sibling had gone! Tummy didnt feel like going to KFC after that.

Slowly, tummy got used to eating without the sibling, We still discuss food whenever we get the opportunity on the net. But more than anything else, I realized, it was not just about food. Its his friendship that I will miss and we keep consoling each other that distance doesn't matter, but I am unsure of it, and I really hope it doesn't. I wish Anil wrote this, he is brilliant with words. And right now, he must be wondering what a moron am I to write this piece now, coz even if he does earn some brownie points with the girlies, he is married now :D

Over a cup of coffee!

It was a freaky friday. Generally the rains in Bangalore are some what pansy, especially for someone who has seen Pune - Mumbai's full-blooded rains. But that night was different, it was pouring like crazy; almost as if it was a cosmic scheme. Perfect ambience for a cup of coffee. We are species, who's lives are divided into 2 kinds of days- weekdays & weekends. Weekdays are when we are tamed, docile, money spinning cattle for our organizations; and on weekends, infact right from Friday eve itself, we start turning into these beasts who tend to increase their fluid intake, which could even be coffee.

Actually, Vivek was passing by and thought of dropping in till the rain gods mellowed down a bit. He came with his friend, 'Shashank'. Vivek loves the coffee that I make, and everytime he is remotely close to my place, he loves to drop by, ofcourse I always tell myself aloud, he comes to meet me too. He is generally accompanied by some random friend of his. It wasn't the first time that Shashank had come home. He had come before, but ofcourse his status was a 'friend's friend'. Therefore, the conversation would generally be of the 'small talk' genre. But yes, after a couple of meetings things had thawed a bit and we all did have a certain comfort level. Not that chemistry of chaddi-buddies, but yes we could talk about our screw-ups without a second thought.

Shashank loves my coffee too, but the way he would put is, "I can go to a coffee-shop too but why do that when you get something better, that too for free". And maybe this ideology could have fitted like a 'T' to various other situations in life too.

It all started with a mosquito bite on Shashank's neck. Now this bite, first of all was too big for a mosquito to manage, and the mark was as if the mosquito was a love-bites god. In short, it was so bloody obvious. And I suffer from chronic curiosity.

"Shashank, is that a love bite?"

"Yep"

"Did you get lucky last night?"

"Yep"

"Last time when we met, you said you were a virgin"

"That I still am"

"Then you got urself bitten just to show it off to people, is it?

My curiosity bugged him and he looked into my eyes. For one sec I thought, here comes the slap... but it didn't. Instead he caught hold of my hand, and made me sit and listen.

"Sit here, what do you think, things work in a perfect fashion in this world? You like someone very much, he has to be your dearest friend, is it? If you gel the best with someone, you will obviously find love in him/ her, is it? Or if you love someone, you will end up with that person? And if you end up with person you love, you will never fall out of love? What the hell is wrong with you, can't you see the world around you? This world runs on needs..."

I still couldn't see it quite honestly, and probably he saw it on my face too. "She is my dearest friend goddammit. She is the only one I had as company since I can remember. She got married 2 yrs ago, and since then I have not seen her happy for a single day. That bastard of a husband that she has, has not given her a single moment of joy in these two years. Honest to god, we didn't have an affair, and it was a platonic relationship. I still can't bring myself up to say that I love her in that sense. Yes I do care the world for her. I can't see her in pain at all. If she derives emotional or physical comfort from me, so be it. I don't care what the world thinks."

"And what about you? Don't you feel used? Why doesn't she leave that guy and then derive this 'comfort'? And if she can't leave that guy, why can't she be bold and accept her reality? If being a friend, you are letting her walk over you, why can't she being a friend, see what she is putting you through?" I think that must have been my best at being tactless. "And what happens when she doesn't need you anymore?"

Its scary when you can see with crystal clarity, that somebody is headed towards immense pain.

"Listen lady, its mutual. Even I have started depending on her for love and care. She cares for me and I care for her. Yes, accepted it is going beyond legitimate definitions. And its gonna be this way, as long as she wants, as long as we want..." And his voice trailed off coz he knew, he didn't have the choice, it was all about her. He wanted to believe that even he was getting something out of this arrangement but actually he couldn't convince himself as he was speaking. "I don't want to do it Deepa. More than physical, its emotional abuse. I wish she did it physically, I think I could have handled it, but this is draining the life out of me." "Get me out of this please, help me."

That night, I tried making him talk it through. I so badly wanted to get him out of this. Everyone had gone off to sleep and we spoke right into the morning. I tried speaking more and more to him, to make him see the real picture. Over a period of time, I felt it was working and I kept trying hard.

One Saturday evening I decided to give him a surprise. I know weekends can get sick if you are trying to get out of a situation. Actually, I had just met him for lunch and he wouldn't have expected me to come back all the way in the evening. The door was ajar, and I walked in. His bedroom door was closed, I guess he was sleeping. I thought I'll knock, but somehow I can't wake people up from their sleeps. I stood there thinking what to do, and finally just turned around to return. Suddenly, I could hear some wierd sounds coming from inside. I kind of figured out what was happening inside and it blew my lid off. It didnt want to stand there for a second longer.

But it didnt end there. There was a male voice, "Shashank saale, lets go out of town next weekend, this is too risky. I just keep thinking about some friend dropping in all the time."

That night he came by after dinner. We went out for a coffee. He wasn't talking much, and I realized how I had completely missed this silence before, or maybe misunderstood completely. Usually, I could carry on a conversation all by myself but today I just didn't have anything to say. All I could do was place my hand on his. He looked at me and said, "Save me if you can, I wanna get out of this....she will kill me someday..."

...Beginner's Luck

I kept wondering for a long time, who would the first character be. Not that I was lost for characters, it was just a 'blonde moment' where I was thinking, "who is that one character, who gets to do the opening act on My blog' :D:D:D" But when I actually couldnt make up my mind as to who to favour, I have finally decided on this fella, I havent met for a long long time, but sure was fun to be around....



Like every other evening, the Café was buzzing with people coming and leaving. People in all shapes, sizes, colours and quirks. I was waiting for my turn to get a machine to surf. This dates back to those old days when we surfed from a ‘Cyber Café’. Yeah, this Café isn’t Barista; firstly coz they were non-existent that time, and secondly even if they existed, we were students living on the mercy of our parents. So, I had actually found this ‘Café’ which charged about 10 bucks an hour instead of the usual 20 which others charged. But more than the economics, it was the place that attracted me. That place is closed down now, but even now, every time I pass that road, I still peep in. It was an open place, where if you were bitchy enough, you could see an internet romance blooming, or someone typing, “I can’t live with him anymore, what do you think I should do now?” Or someone sitting next to you would peep into your machine and start messaging, actually taking a chance that you are so dumb not to understand…. even after mentioning the colour of your T-shirt. Ofcourse there were females, who would shriek in disbelief, “oh my god! I think this guy is following me, he even knows what T-shirt am I wearing at the moment”. All this in full volume mode, so that every fella in the café would know, she is being stalked. Crazy that place was. And I would take my stool and observe, keeping my smile within me, waiting till my turn came.

Before I met him, my friend had already told me, “you know there is this fella, who likes your eyes”. (Of course, it felt good…) :) :) . But that day, he came with a BIG Baby’s milk bottle, complete with the nipple, and would coolly go to everyone and say, “can you put a Rupee in my piggy bank?” Now of course, why would you think twice, before putting in a dime. He had indeed collected a handsome amount. When he came to me, I was just gonna say something, when my friend screamed, “hey he is the one who likes your eyes…” One of the most winsome smiles, I have ever seen, lit that face.

I never interacted with him a lot, but he was someone, who was always talked about. Somewhere I lost track of him. But I kept bumping into him as Pune is a very small place.

Then probably after about 2-3 years, I was at ‘Scream’ and someone comes and pats my back. I turned around and saw him. The café had closed down, and life was kicking us to grow up, studies had got serious, and then to see him after such a long time was such a good feeling inside. And not to mention, that ‘winsome’ smile was still very much there. We came aside and spoke. It was the first time I spoke to him about his life.

He is an Arab, one out of 7-8 siblings. He has decided to stay in India. The last I heard of him, he wasn’t fending for himself, so his dad I believe was funding him. He had even picked up some marathi. Of course I couldn’t understand his English let alone marathi. But some how, the watchmans and the pan-walas could. He would watch all crazy Bollywood movies. Maybe he had turned more Indian than any other pure blooded Indian.

He was in love with this Indian girl. Crazy about her. But both knew it wasn’t headed any where. It was too much for a Marathi Brahmin to accept a Muslim son-in-law, and that too not an India. It was a lost battle even before it could have started. He tried too many ways to get out of it. He put his winsome smile to use, and won a lot of dates and one night stands, and all the jazz, but of no use. I particularly remember this woman who SMSed him, “you are the Lord Krishna of my life”. Poor guy.

And the girl, she was one hell of a temperamental woman. She wasn’t moving on, and wasn’t letting him move on too. Her folks fixed her up with someone, and she agreed. But still wouldn’t let him go.

Finally, he went for her wedding, saw her marrying someone else. And in his own words, “Deepa, I danced the most that night. I saw her married off. You win some, you lose some. And I have moved on.” That smile again.

It was something that shook me up. Coz I had known their story since the café days, and I had heard they indeed were a pair. After such a long relationship, I am sure it wasn’t easy for him. Till that day, he was just a strange and funny character I knew, but after I met him this time, I had immense respect for the way he went about it and gracefully accepted the reality. It takes some courage to attend the wedding of someone you really love like that, and usher her into a new life, with someone else. Every time I thought of him after that, all I could remember was his line, “I danced the most at her wedding”.

After that, I lost him in time again. A year later, I found him in Barista sitting with some cool babe. Believe me I was so happy that he was with someone. Ofcourse he was a charmer and he couldn’t have stayed single for long anyways. I walked up to him. He was sporting that killing smile of his. “So, is she your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Hey you have never met her right? She is Aarti. Her bloody husband is not in town, so I am officiating…” And that winsome smile again!